Monday, 15 August 2011

Will and Power

Some would say watching people reveal their cynicism makes it possible to identify what it is they lack in life and I suspect it would be easy to assume that someone in my position would be cynical about their reduced circumstances and the paralysis it can sometimes bring about in everyday life. Today, for example, my children had their feet measured to establish if they need new school shoes.  In the past, if their feet had grown I would have simply bought them new shoes immediately, but current circumstances demand I defer the decision to spend money until I have checked the month’s outgoings. I cannot, however, say I am at all unhappy about this situation having always believed Mr Micawber’s recipe for happiness, “Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds and sixpence, result misery,” is a very valuable lesson for my children to learn.

Nevertheless I have little doubt those who choose observe me would definitely see immense frustration rather than cynicism as a result of the lack of progress I am making in all I am attempt to achieve.
In the last ten days I have,

  • Sent my “All I need is you” letter to Antonio Horta Osorio and, as yet, received no acknowledgement or reply.
  • Sent my blog “All I need is you” to the Financial Times and James Quinn editor of the Telegraph and, although in the case of Mr Quinn it has been acknowledged, again there has been no further communication.
  • Sent my blog link and a synopsis of my writing to a literary editor who specialises in Misery Memoirs only to receive a sympathetic but disappointing reply, “I fear I don’t see this making a book.”

Thankfully, I have also,
  • Been sent an article from the Times about people in similar circumstances to me in an effort to help me feel less alone in my endeavours.
  • Received an invitation to spend a weekend in a beautiful coastal hotel in celebration of a friend’s birthday, all expenses paid.
  • Had a phone call from my eldest daughter praising “Beaches and Blessings” as a wonderful piece of writing and , in her opinion, my best so far.
  • Received an email from a lady who worked on my case for the CAB in which she praised my writing and said I am an inspiration to others.
  • Had my blog sent to the CAB's Social Policies coordinator along with my original case worker.

In an addition to these much valued signs of support I have also been repeatedly told by my good friend Christine during my frequent crisis' of confidence,
  • Lloyds Banking Group will eventually be exposed for fabricating correspondence about fictitious payment arrangements and be forced to address my situation rather than continue to persecute me.
  • Their is a slim chance the Financial Ombudsman may well rule in my favour and not HBOS’s (as I fear) with regard to my mortgage shortfall complaint and for this reason I should be patient
She also insists,
  • My writing is not drivel.

I am only too aware it is the fate of many people to fail in their endeavours, not because they lack strength, but purely because they lack will. Bolstered and strengthened by the support and generosity of others I am left with renewed vigour to persist with the making of fresh plans to take the place of those that have so far failed. Thankfully for me, HBOS and Lloyds Banking Group will never be at liberty to repossess either my will or the camaraderie of others.

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