Wisdom and Virtue

Although they say wisdom is knowing what to do next and virtue is doing it, I am hoping this week proves wisdom is also about knowing what not to do next.

During the last week I have made the decision not to do quite a lot.

•  I refused to have another Friends meeting purely to update the committee on how things are progressing with the Summer Ball. I made this decision on the basis that, had some members of the committee been helping me in the first place, they would not be in need of updating.  The consequence of making this decision has been to acquire some much needed time to complete some vital Ball related tasks only a handful of us stalwarts are prepared to progress.
• I declined our business banks proposal for us to enter an IVA to prevent the Bank of Scotland’s continued harassment. I did this on the basis I could not bring myself to do anything which would allow the Bank of Scotland’s heartless behaviour towards my family’s plight to go unnoticed. By making this decision I have, for the first time in three years, acquired a sense of dignity and purpose. By choosing to turn the tables on our oppressor it will be me taking the Bank of Scotland to task rather than them preying on my vulnerability.  
• I did not accept the Inland Revenues Capital Gains Tax calculations for back taxes owed over the last ten years.  I asked them to recalculate in the hope they would see my point view because I could not believe reason would not ultimately win the day.  After a two year battle I am relieved to report this has been the case. Being successful in this instance has given me a confidence in my abilities I have never enjoyed before. I cannot help but regard this by product as an immensely silvery lining to a very dark cloud which has hung over me for some time.
•  I have resisted, on behalf of my thirty year old daughter, the temptation to accept a job offer for less than the maximum advertised.  Knowing her prospective employers had advertised the pay at a higher amount, I could not see why my daughter should accept any less when she was offered the job.  By not jumping at their first proposal, my daughter secured a 6% pay increase as well as better hours from her new employers.
•  I have also refused to listen to any more of my lodger Darryl’s self obsessed hard luck stories.  Logic dictates, as I have never had trouble finding tenants in the past, I should easily be able to improve on Darryl in the future. Within twenty four hours of making this decision I achieved my objective and have given Darryl his marching orders.  This means I will no longer have to root out stinking fish from Darryl’s kitchen cupboard, wash unmentionable stains from his bedding or witness his excrement deposits on my cream carpets.

I cannot think of a better way to end the week!

I'm still standing

Recently someone I have never met gave a critique on my writing. On reading this blog she remarked I must be very strong.  Never having thought of myself in these terms, it inspired me to search for a word which described the perception I have of myself. The word resilient was the only one which came to mind.

The Japanese describe resilience as someone “who falls seven times and gets up eight” and without a doubt this resembles the daily routine I have endured for the last two and a half years.  I cannot begin to count the number of times I have been knocked down during this period nor can I recall what mechanism I have employed to get to my feet but thankfully always, within a day or two of all manner of blows, I have been able to find the resources to regain my footing.

This week has been no different. 

On top of the normal madness of running a family with three school age children, arranging a prep school ball for one hundred and fifty people, together with a fair of amount of lodger “patting” and a couple of visits to my eighty four year old mother, I have been asked three enormous questions by our creditors over the last forty eight hours,

·       Heritable bank have asked if I would I like to consider entering into IVA in an effort to thwart the Bank of Scotland’s continued bully boy tactics.

·         Merrils Ede would like to know if I am prepared to be made bankrupt “without further notice” by the Bank of Scotland for not complying with yet more demands relating to making a payment arrangement.

·        The Capital Gains arm of the Inland Revenue would like to know if I am in agreement with the retrospective calculations for a tax demand they have prepared covering the last ten years of non payment.

With resilience as my master, I have begun to assess the pros and cons of going into an IVA and, along with the help of my trusty friend Chris I have, yet again, resisted the underhand comments of the Bank of Scotland’s solicitors Merrils Ede.   I have not, however, done anything with my letter from the Inland Revenue.   For this I require something more than just resilience and for the past few days this attribute, whatever it may be, appears to have deserted me.

My fear is the Inland Revenue will, with one flourish of their bureaucratic pen sweep us into bankruptcy if I am unable to meet their demands.  It is my understanding they take no prisoners and it is for this reason their letter lies neglected in the dark of my office cupboard waiting for strength to join forces with resilience and give me the wherewithal to tackle the six pages of Inland Revenue calculations.  I know I must at all costs produce a reply which avoids another demand for money we do not have. 

I have always believed harnessing resilience will help me acquire the ability to work with adversity in such a way I may come through it unharmed and perhaps even better for the experience. I haveve learned to accept I must face life’s difficulties with courage and patience by refusing to give up so I can rebound from these misfortunes, hardships and traumas to face overwhelming odds again and again. While I appreciate I can never go back to start a new beginning today or any other day I am, at least, able to take solace in the knowledge there is always tomorrow.

Today I am completely overwhelmed but tomorrow I will start a new day and make a new ending.

Debts and rubber ducks

Why is it some people, finding they do not know the answer to the question you have asked, simply make up questions they can answer in order to give a reply? I have just spent twenty minutes on the telephone to someone within the debt advisory services who has chosen to do just that. My difficulties seem to arise because I am quite often more knowledgeable than the people from whom I can afford to seek expertise yet I still feel it is necessary to take advice because I don't feel knowledgeable enough to be confident in my decision making without have a sounding board.

This morning’s frustrations have stemmed from my Heritable Hero’s offer to “encourage” the Bank of Scotland to accept an Individual Voluntary Arrangement. This IVA would include my husband’s remaining personal creditors of £73,000, business creditors of £75,000, together with some non hostile credit card debt which is not being pursued as well as our mortgage shortfall of £217,000. Heritable Bank have already agreed to write off our shortfall of £209,000 but have suggested, as an alternative, I consider whether it would be beneficial for me to use Heritable’s offer to force my hostile creditors (Bank of Scotland, Lloyds TSB, Nat West, MBNA, Abbey National, Cahoot and Capital One) into accepting an IVA. This will not require a monetary outlay, but instead could be a method by which to render them powerless to pursue me.

While putting an end to the financial pressure is a very attractive proposition, I desperately feel the need for an expert to go through the nuts and bolts of it with me so I can make an informed decision.  My layman’s understanding of the rulings are that as long as 75% of my creditors agree, I can pay whatever is acceptable to them (rubber ducks was one suggestion) and be home and dry without any more postal panic, doorstep claw hammer threats or armed police responses ever again.

But is this the best course of action for me to take right now?

With this question in mind I made National Debt Line my first stop.  After updating my financial fact find and fending off the advisor’s urges to launch into a discussion on bankruptcy with me, I was told I could not consider an IVA without doing an income and expenditure analysis to assess my disposable income. When I explained  they had completely lost sight of the fact I may well be paying in rubber ducks, their rather shirty reply was this was not the normal way to approach an IVA and it was their opinion most people would look at something in the region of twenty pence in the pound.

Having finally got him to accept rubber ducks were precisely the kind of IVA both I and Heritable Bank had in mind, he had to concede this was indeed, technically, a possibility but felt it was imperative I go on hold while they checked with their legal department whether it would be possible for Heritable Bank to make me do this!  It took me several minutes more to convince him nobody was attempting to force me to pay them in rubber ducks, or anything else for that matter.  Finally, broken and confused, but still trying to save face, my advisor agreed to allow me to ask him my question.

“Now you are in possession of all the facts,” I said, “is this a feasible way forward for me right now?”

Of course his answer was, “I couldn’t possibly answer a question of this kind. You will have to ask an insolvency practitioner but remember you will have to pay.”

I have always been aware that the odds of going into a supermarket for a loaf of bread and coming out with just a loaf of bread are three billion to one.  I had foolishly hoped that National Debt Line would have at least allowed me my loaf of bread but I suppose I shouldn't have been looking at a bakery for pearls of wisdom.