Winning wills

While I appreciate winning is not everything I understand the will to win most definitely is.  Much to my frustration, and largely due to over-commitment on all fronts, I have recently experienced an overwhelming sense that, on occasion, having the will to win can still prove insufficient to gain the advantage in every battle.

Over the past ten days I have,

·        failed to convince my body I do not have an upper respiratory infection resulting in this unwelcome invader knocking me for six

·        failed to convince my landlord to attend to a list of repairs resulting in the prospect of another winter with extortionate heating bills and very little warmth

·        failed to convince the former Treasurer of the Friends to furnish me with much needed banking information resulting in pure guesswork when it came to the allocating of this year’s funds at our meeting

·        failed to work out an economically sound method for my teenage son to travel, via public transport, to an open day at University College London resulting in a seven hour road trip by car

·        failed to convince the Financial Ombudsman to view HBOS’s actions as both negligent and pivotal to the resulting mortgage shortfall I am now saddled with.

However, knowing success is not wholly dependant on drive and persistence while fatigue can make cowards of us all I sent for reinforcements when it came to the assembly of my team for the school quiz.

Carefully selecting friends who have been supportive and uplifting during the darkest hours of my HBOS ordeals, my unassuming band of debt fighting warriors threw aside the trappings of battle to engage in an evening’s intellectual frivolity of fish and chip fuelled entertainment.  Although brows were periodically furrowed in contemplation, we laughed and dined the evening away in untroubled camaraderie and in so doing melted my failures of the preceding days  into insignificance. The by product of this meeting of minds over a school quiz and a few beers was......

We won!

On hearing American baseball player Michael Jordan words,

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and again in my life and that is why I succeed.”

I realise every road to success is littered with failures of the past. However, it has become evident from the success of our quiz team efforts that the individual’s commitment to a group effort is precisely what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work ,

And,

I am also convinced it will eventually be what makes my battle with HBOS work.

In recognition of this invaluable and ongoing solidarity I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge my appreciation of not only my fellow quiz team members, but also every kind and caring individual who has so readily given their time and their expertise over the past three years to ensure I remain on my road to success in spite of my failures.

I extend my heart felt thanks to each and every one of you.

The Pursuit of Happiness

According to government research, the recipe for human happiness has three ingredients, “meaning, mastery and autonomy” and as I take a moment to evaluate my position and make plans for the coming week, I realise how fortunate I have been to have had the perfect blend of all three attributes throughout the summer months. This period of respite has been largely due to the fact the Financial Ombudsman’s Service has been investigating my case against HBOS throughout July and August leaving me a very welcome period of thumb twiddling on the debt fighting front.  

Now that autumnal high winds have replaced gentle summer breezes and a week of the school term is already under our belts, I am aware the time has come to pick up the proverbial baton once again.  Hoping, in the words of  Rich Dad, Poor Dad author, Robert Kiyosaki, “the size of my success is measured only by the strength of my desire; the size of my dream; and the way in which I handle disappointment along the way”, I have endeavoured to,

·        Restore order to the homely chaos that goes hand in hand with having three children, and frequently several grandchildren, at home over the school holidays.

·        Kick start the Friends of the school’s schedule for the coming year by ensuring I can answer a whole plethora of questions my fellow committee members do not yet know they wish to ask.

·        Encourage a sense of urgency in my teenage son for the completion of his university application form, personal statement and campus visits.

·        Embark on all manner of lodger related cleaning and furniture moving in anticipation of the arrival of a new tenant.

·        Mount an attack, with the help of my invaluable friend Chris, on the pile of debt and Ombudsman related paperwork which has been waiting for some child free time to induce clarity of mind

And

·        Research scholarships and bursaries for September 2012 in an effort to secure my daughter’s education in an independent senior school.

Although each and every task carries a unique demand on my ever expanding need for expertise, the hurdle of my daughter’s ongoing schooling has consumed me with an over whelming sense of trepidation not least because, in the case of  bursary assistance, the all important autonomy is most definitely the province of the bursary provider.  In order to explore the chances of securing funding, not only will I have to suffer the indignity of repeatedly disclosing the gory details of my current financial position and aggravate old wounds which are still struggling to heal, but in addition to laying myself bare, I must then listen attentively to the answers I will receive.  Sadly, experience dictates, not everyone wishes they could help.

Over the past three years I have been told by people working within the independent sector,

·        Embarking on the education of my children in a fee paying school, without having secured funding for its completion may well result in them being irreversibly damaged psychologically should they have to leave and enter the state sector before their education is complete.

·        Allowing my children to mix with the those of superior affluence during their school years could cripple their self-esteem for life.

·        Procuring bursaries for the independent education of my children when my husband is unable to repay his business debts is not a lifestyle choice  that endears bursary support.

·        Accepting an independent school place with financial assistance yet without the means with which to fund extracurricular lessons and extracurricular school trips will leave my children feeling ostracised and second rate citizens throughout their educational years.

·        Keeping my children in their prep school increases the risk of the devastating effects of  bullying if they return to the state sector should I be unsuccessful in securing an ongoing bursary funded place for secondary education.

Needless to say these comments all came from schools declining bursary assistance for my daughter because they made a personal judgement about our indebtedness. Thankfully, however, there are also individuals working within the independent sector who, on hearing my sorry tale, appear to have thought, “There, but for the grace of God go I” and it is from these people I have heard the following words of kindness,

·        Bursary and scholarship places are a fundamental part of the Independent Educational Sector and not only do they facilitate the charitable status of these schools but they provide a valuable opportunity to offer education to a broad socioeconomic group.  Bursaries are designed to aid people in your circumstances and it delights us to be able to help.

·        Your daughter will greatly benefit from what we have to offer and would undoubtedly be a credit to our school.  For these reasons we look forward to having an opportunity to help.

·        We are in the fortunate position of being able to offer charitable funding to assist people suffering financial hardship and are very sorry to hear about your difficulties. We are happy to help and hope your financial position improves very soon.

Hoping, this time, when I embark on my bursary quest the size of my success will be measured only by,

·         the strength of my desire to find independent education for my daughter,

·         the size of my dream and not the size of my purse

and

·        the way in which I have handled disappointment and social prejudice along the way,

I made the decision to approach my daughter’s current prep school Head with my dilemma.

To my great relief, not only has he suggested which school I should consider for her but he has also assured me that his personal introduction, extolling the virtues of my daughter’s caring disposition, integrity and scholarly application in all her endeavours, will make her a very attractive and bursary worthy prospective student. His selfless commitment to support me in this matter has instantly restored the autonomy I lacked in the pursuit of my daughter’s educational happiness while providing me with a welcome opportunity to preserve my dignity from further extremely uncomfortable and degrading assaults.

 For this simple act of kindness and gift of human happiness I am truly grateful.

Ernest Hemingway once said, “ In order to write about life, first you must live it,” while William Wordsworth  insists one should “fill the page with the breathing’s of your heart.”  Ever hopeful that I may have succeeded in achieving both I can only conclude that for me finding a bursary for my daughter and writing my blog have proved to have much in common.  The words of newspaper columnist Walter Wesley “Red” Smith describe the process perfectly.

 “Writing is easy. You simple sit down at your type writer, open a vein and bleed.”

Viva Espana

They say life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans and today I wholeheartedly subscribe to this observation.  In the space of hour I have visited my eighty four year old Mum, called in on a friend for a coffee, told my lodger Daryl not to leave rotting stinking food in our fridge, advised the Chairman of the school Governors their marketing strategy is flawed, praised the Friends secretary for all the hard work she is doing on the up and coming summer ball, explored how best to prepare for a court case against the Bank of Scotland with my solicitor, and discussed the legal implications with our tenant in Spain in the event of the imminent repossession of our apartment.

In reality any one of these subjects would be more than enough for my addled brain but knowing full well success usually comes to those who are too busy to go looking for it, I always feel compelled to do everything I have agreed to. The job I had planned for today was simply to establish what Banca Caja in Spain want to do with our apartment on the Costa Del Sol. We haven't been there for three years and have made no payments for most of this time to either Banca Caja, who hold the mortgage, or the community who provide the maintenance services for the complex. Bizarrely enough, it was only when some good friends found a long term tenant for me who expressed a interest in buying it, the real trouble started.

Discovering the rent being offered was enough to pay all the interest on the mortgage with Banca Caja as well as 95% of the Community fees, I foolishly thought those concerned would be pleased if I arranged for my tenant to pay these amounts direct to both of them. It was at this point the madness began. On moving in, my tenant, who enjoyed watching the BBC channels on TV was disappointed to find that the Community satellite was failing to provide them. He approached the community manager about a repair but was told it would not be forth coming without a committee vote. This was because our financial difficulties had resulted in 9000 euros of arrears.

At the committee meeting the Chairman of the Community recommended a vote to a force sale of the apartment on the pretext that the equity from this be used to recoup the amount owing. No amount of explaining on my part that the property had 100,000 euros of negative equity would deter him. I later discovered, his motive had less to do with settling an outstanding community account and a lot to do with acquiring our apartment cheap for his friend.

 My tenant, who by this time was feeling very insecure, suggested I write to my bank and my solicitor to verify his position.  I did this only to hear that the bank also wished to take possession of the apartment too but had not done so because they had forgotten to impliment it two years previously. I was assured that my tenant could remain in residence due to his protected tenancy and he would be allowed to purchase the apartment within a five year period. Banca Caja went on to say that they would, in exchange for my agreement to this, write off the 100,000 euros negative equity and arrears and settle all outstanding bills against the property including the Community fees.

Hallelujah, I thought.

Everyone is happy (except perhaps the Chairman of the Community’s bargain hunting friend) and no stupid “Bank of Scotland type” debt collecting persecution tactics for me to deal with either.
The icing on the cake was that, during the following weeks, Banca Caja stopped allocating the rent payments to my mortgage account. When I enquired why, they insisted that it was no longer necessary as any interest due when the repossession was implemented would form part of the write off. My tenant, whose solicitor advised him he had to pay rent to someone to protect his tenancy rights, has continued to pay it to me and I have now purchased a modest holiday with the proceeds.
Thanks Banca Caja you have been great but do you realise, I wonder, that you have still not repossessed my apartment.

I am now wondering if maybe you have forgotten again.

Furious and furiouser

They say strength does not come from winning but from the struggles along the way and it has become clear I am destined to struggle in everything I do if the last three days are an accurate indicator.  The task in hand is to organise the up and coming Prep School Summer Ball and I had no idea putting on event of this kind would be such source of angst for all those concerned as well as an enormous headache for me.

I took up my current role in appreciation of the Bursaries we were awarded by the Headmaster. His actions made it possible for my younger two children to follow in their brother and sisters footsteps by enjoying an independent education which would have otherwise been beyond our means.  Having always believed  every effort should be made to pay ones way, I was happy to help when the Head asked me to consider being the Chairman of their Friends as the previous one had resigned after last year’s ball.

·         How hard could it be for someone with six years experience in the role of Chairman at her children’s previous school?

·         How hard could it be for someone who, at twenty five ran three of her own retail outlets and employed eight staff?

·         How hard could it be for someone who advised four hundred and fifty financial services clients every year?

·         How hard could it be for someone whose working life was spent entirely in a people driven industry?

·         How hard could it be for someone whose previous expertise included the organising of two Charity Balls for the insurance industry?

·         How hard could it be for a mother who had arranged her eldest daughter’s wedding with one hundred and fifty guests, at home, five days after she home delivered her 11lb fifth child?

·          How hard could it be for the one woman debt fighting machine who has endured an armed police response on her drive and claw hammer threatening tradesmen on her door step?

In short it is nigh on impossible.

·         Who would have thought some would do too little and some far too much.

·         Who would have thought some would find a way always to agree while others always object.

·         Who would have thought some would insist it’s always been one way when others insist it’s never stopped being the other.

And who would have thought at a previous summer ball, my predecessor would hit someone when they called her a “fat slag”!

Here’s hoping whatever my struggles are over this year’s Summer Ball,  That which I am calling “gaining experience” avoids being re-branded as "making a big mistake”.  Armed with my plan to court goodwill with good manners to secure a compromise, I am hoping adopting these principals I will not only deliver an enjoyable event but will avoid the need for anyone to throw the first punch!