Friday, 25 March 2011

Lost love

My husband is a quiet sensitive man and until recently I believed he would never lie to me.  I admired his composure, clarity and intelligence.  Third time around I felt sure I had, at last, made the right match.  After fifteen years of marriage I discovered I hardly knew him at all.

On a damp October morning, after discovering the extent of his borrowing, I felt as if I had woken next to a monster, a sentiment I attempted to share with him. He laughingly replied he did not see it as lying but I had simply not asked the right questions. His abdication of responsibility struck more fear in my bones than any creditor on my doorstep threatening a claw hammer through the skull as his reward.

To this day I cannot fathom how he thought his actions were justified or his words to me truthful. However, I live in hope that one day I will be able to forgive him and  I will once again be able to look him in the eye and see the honourable man I fell in love with.

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